It’s that time of year again. Stores are drenched in heart-covered everything, and Hallmark-level romance is everywhere you look. Honestly, I’m not even mad at it. First of all, the pink and red color combo is everything. And second, there’s something undeniably special about celebrating love, whether you have a partner or not. 

Unless you recently went through a breakup, chances are you spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve back to back solo (like me). We deserve a pat on the back, and maybe a little extra love. That’s exactly why I took myself out on a Valentine’s date, and here’s what I learned:

1. Getting to know yourself is easier with no distractions.

 We don’t always realize it, but most of the time we’re going with the flow, whether that’s following along with group decisions, ordering what everyone else orders, and defaulting to shared preferences and/or restrictions. Those situations can make it easier to ignore what actually excites you.

With no friends or phones buffering awkward moments or unnecessary small talk, you’re left being fully present. Some moments may be uncomfortable, but the upside is you set the rules. An entire plate of cacio e pepe for one? Why not? From ordering exactly what I wanted to sitting with my own thoughts, this time helped me better understand what I genuinely enjoy.

2. Solo activities are like going to the gym. Consistency helps.

If you’re like me, you might typically choose the safe route over discomfort, kind of like that new Pilates class I’ve been putting off. But here’s the thing. The hard part doesn’t always have to look and feel big or dramatic. Sometimes it’s as simple as following through. The more you do, the more your confidence grows.

3. No one cares (in the best way).

Finally, solo dates can feel nerve-wracking because you’ve convinced yourself everyone is wondering why you’re out alone. Truth is no one thought twice. I enjoyed my meal and even laughed at myself. So let’s not psych ourselves out or make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. It’s just not that serious.

Moral of the story? Learn to enjoy your own company. Because the relationship you have with yourself deserves celebrating, too!